You open your dog’s app. There is a graph, an activity total and perhaps a score with a very confident-looking colour.

One dog greets the morning like they have personally been appointed head of neighbourhood security. Another would appreciate breakfast being delivered to the sofa.

You know the look that means “walk?” You can hear a snack packet open from the other end of the house and predict exactly who will appear. You probably have several hundred photos of the same sleeping face.